Sunday, April 10

A Picture is worth a Thousand Words. NOT, Especially if they're Mine.

It's been a while since I've been blamed for a number of things concerning my pictures. I tried to smile at them, telling people that it's just a captured moment, maybe it was a lucky one for me and saying other stupid things to lowball myself to suit the esteem of others.

I've become so confused now, I hardly know what to believe. A picture, my mirror or just find my reflection in words of other people of how they see me.

A picture could lie- smart photographers have discovered 'angles'
A mirror could lie - a part of my head must've created an illusion of me to how i see, maybe I would self adjust or the mirror could be the Convex type

The only thing I'm left to believe is the words of others because my other two options are possible liars.

I have really succumbed to this. "Gosh, you're looking so good! so different! so unlike you!" and various derivatives of the same sentence that I'm afraid of meeting new people I first find online and my beginning statements to them begin with "haha.. my dp is deciving! :P :P" the end teasers and the haha start is what I add so that my words appear light and silly unlike my true feelings of despair and half-heartedness.

I'm sorry I look different in pictures but honestly, it's unintentional. I've never tried to hide who I am, I've hardly ever edited- they're just straight from the folder (apart 4m the CID one and a few other obvious ones, you can make out) but never otherwise.

I don't know if that's a good thing or bad but it's definitely acting up on my disadvantage list. My pictures coming out different than I am, or as I am said.

I'm sorry I don't mean to fool you. It's just.. I promise I hate it too, whatever the stupid phenomenon is. I'll try to make it go away.

A Picture is worth a thousand words, they say. Mine are worth a thousand screams and my attempts to look as much myself as I can which means showing off ugly as if she's worth the princess' crown. And I actually do that but still I don't get said that's how I am.

I'm lost in the tunnel that has light at the other end. Running towards the light has only made it go farther. I'm 19, so grown up; so childish still I don't know what I look like.

Mirror Mirror on the Wall, are you true? Or you lie to them all?