Poem: If You Could See Me Now

I intended this poem to be a song, originally but while I tried playing it and added music to it- I broke down always. Then it was Eid some days ago. As a kid, I always opened the door when my father came in from Namaz and then followed our tradition of oil & rice. I still open the door but then it's never for my father. It's been so long since I saw my mom take a plate of rice and place a bowl of oil right in the center.


People feel empty about friends and boyfriends leaving them. That stupid song Emptiness has no sense to it even.  Anyway, so I made the song into a poem because no way I can sing it!

I see in the mirror,

A striking image of your face

How my eyes,

Resemble your strength.

They look at me and say how much I remind them of you,

And they praise me when they see how much I’ve grown without you.

I laugh with them & with them I cry,

But I don’t let them see the part that I hide,

The part that longs for you,

The one that wishes- whatever’s happened is just not true.

** Oh Daddy, I wish you could see me now,

Into the person that I’ve become

Into the child that you’ve left behind

Oh daddy, if you could be with me now,

We would tour the world & I’d show you what I’ve done

You’d be proud of me & then we’d have partied.

For all the times I fought with you,

For all the times I didn’t listen,

To all the times I missed to say I love you,

To all the times I didn’t care.

I just want to say- Daddy, I’m sorry.

**Oh daddy, I wish you could see me now,

How I’m broken, how I’m crushed;

But still together

Oh daddy, if you could be with me now,

I’d feel more like myself

To say to the least

I’d feel like somebody’s baby girl again.

I see in the mirror,

A striking image of your face,

And then I say,

It’s all of you that I have left.

Until Next time,

curry /bye